Chapter 13

Edie had delivered 19 eggs. Of these, 11 were fertilised. Eight continued to divide into embryos. I felt I had almost a football team and that maybe I should mourn the three that had failed to make it. In the meantime, my season had begun. More than 300 children were descending on me. I was now commuting from school to school with my office in my car. Sitting in one of the schools, I checked my e-mails on my laptop. In came a message from ‘babiesplus’ with an attachment ‘embies.jpg’.

Another click. Four circular specks with fuzzy edges. My latent family. A frisson. This was real. Life went on. Children needed to be taught. The Course Tutor had failed to show. The teaching team needed to be re-jigged. I clicked the attachment shut, closed my laptop, put it in the car and drove off.

This was becoming my normality in the summer of 2000. The following Thursday found me at one of my schools where my 80 plus students for the summer were arriving from Heathrow Airport. I was in the office, bathed in dappled light through the leaded windows, overlooking the sunken gardens, taking in their passports, tickets and pocket money with all calls diverted to my mobile phone. A French girl was sitting in front of me when it rang. It was Dr Smotrich on the line.

‘I have Tina on the speaker phone so she can hear what you’re saying and you can talk to her. I am just about to implant four of the fertilised eggs in her.’

‘Oh, good’.

(To the French girl ‘May I have your passport and any French francs you would like us to keep safely until you go home?’)

‘How are you feeling, Tina?’

‘Just great.’

‘Let’s hope something happens.’

I felt useless. What do you say when you are making babies at one remove half way round the world in the presence of a foreign teenager you have never met before and who fortunately has no idea what a life-changing event is happening?

‘Well, this is quite a moment.’

The girl smiled, thanked me and left. Coming to England was quite an event for her, but she did not and does not to this day know quite how dramatic that moment was.

I just had to wait until the 20th to see if anything had worked. It had. Dr Smotrich told me the test he did ascertained degrees of pregnancy. Tina was very pregnant. I could not imagine the difference between ‘pregnant’ and ‘very pregnant’. I was soon to find out. I would also find out why Dr Smotrich had implanted four embryos. The beautiful Edie (who I later discovered was called Melissa, but I still know her as Edie) had proved popular with Vivian’s clients. She had produced lots of eggs. Many had become fertilised, but what I had not been told was that no pregnancy had resulted. The man before me in the queue had had four implanted. No babies had resulted. The man after me had experienced the same. For me, it was beginner’s luck. When Dr Smotrich phoned me, he told me I should sit down.

‘It’s three.’

‘How does Tina feel about this?’

‘She’s shocked.’

‘Surprised?’

‘No. In shock.’

In implanting four with the hope of creating one, three had resulted. As to my own feelings, I was just delighted that there had been a result. The idea of three had not sunk in.

In a way I was relieved that it had not been four as then we might have had to think of removing one. Reduction had been a philosophical concept. It would have turned into a real and ugly consideration of whether to kill a child.

Few were in on the secret at that stage, but one friend I told said ‘You can’t have three. That’s too many to manage.’ ‘OK. Which one do I kill?’ That’s what it came down to. That stopped any further discussion.

Never throughout her pregnancy had Tina raised with me the idea of reduction or expressed any regret at having gone ahead with so many. It was only when I thought we were in danger of losing them all that I had moments of doubt. Was it because we had been too selfish or squeamish in seeking to protect ourselves from the need to make a horrible decision that we were taking risks with these babies’ lives?

Tina grew large at some speed. Within a few weeks she had to give up work. Because her maternity leave would be so long, her employment as a nurse was terminated. Her only income came from our arrangement. Technically, she was reimbursed for her expenses, but it ensured that she was not worse off than she had been.

I imagined that she would come over just after Christmas. I researched the hospitals that could cope with triplet delivery and put Dr Smotrich in touch with the nearest one. He seemed happy enough.

All was not well, however. Not well at all.

I had assumed everyone was delighted and wanted it to stay that way. At such a distance, I did not spot what was going wrong. The shift from joy to apprehension was fundamental and would threaten the entire plan.

It was Vivian who alerted me to Tina’s unhappiness. Towards the end of September, she wrote, ‘There are a lot issues coming up for Tina that we need to iron out. First keep in mind the tremendous amount of hormones she deals with. You’ve heard of how pregnant women are so emotional. It’s true. Pregnant women can cry at the drop of a hat. Since Tina has three babies she has three times the hormones. She has been in quite a state since the pregnancy started. She didn’t plan on being put on bed rest at all and then she is put on it almost immediately. If she doesn’t return to work in 30 weeks her employer will not keep her job for her when she returns. She can reapply and they would hire her again but only if a position is available.’

Real problems, I felt helpless about what to do. Vivian went on:

‘Then Dr. B. tells her that he is concerned about the medical attention she will receive in England. If she goes into labor or it’s time for her c-section and there aren’t enough beds at the hospital, where will she go and what will happen? Is she going to a NHS hospital or private? One of the most common problems for multiple pregnancies is that they haemorrhage because their uterus is so stretched. In which case she would require a blood transfusion. She wants to know if the blood in England is tested for diseases like it is here.’

Did Tina really think England was a third world country? There were practical concerns, too.

‘When she comes to England will she and the boys be in a flat? She likes your home, but she is concerned about the boys being too disturbing to you and your father. Also she is allergic to the cats and allergies are always worse during a pregnancy. When we were there before she had to use her inhaler quite a bit.’

That was something I felt I could reassure her about. She would be accommodated wherever she wished.

At least Vivian struck a positive tone at the end, ‘Before I go I have to tell you this. I asked if she was regretting becoming a surrogate mom. She said "No, not at all. It’s all worth it and I think Ian will be very happy." She’s great!’

That was true, but once again I felt that everything was going wrong. There was something else that lay behind all these fears. I had to find out what. Taking the bull by the horns, I called Tina.

‘I think we can iron out all the practicalities, but what’s the worry that underlies all this?’

‘I’m afraid of dying. I’m afraid for my sons. I’m afraid of them and me being far from everyone we know. If my uterus ruptures, I have to be treated immediately, or I’ll die.’

That was clear enough. It was a dreadful feeling. There I was seeing joy and delivery; there she was looking into the blackest chasm imaginable. I sensed desperation. She told me she would happily bring the babies over herself.

How could I square this circle? My first thought was a selfish one—to present to her the problems that would arise from the babies being born in the US. They would have to be granted entry here. They would be American. They would not have residence. If they were born here, they would de facto have residence and I might find it easier to get British nationality for them.

When I thought it through, my attitude was wrong. My first concern had to be and to be seen to be for the welfare of the mother and babies. That could not be compromised for the sake of making immigration easier. My way forward was clear. I wrote to Tina to tell her that we would do whatever she felt happiest with. The worries disappeared; the blood pressure steadied.

‘Tina called me after you sent your letter,’ Vivian emailed. ‘She felt so much better. She had been so worried that she was going to upset or disappoint you. I was very happy to hear her relief. She is really doing very well considering the circumstances.’

It was clear that the babies would be born in San Diego. They would be little American citizens and I faced going through hoops to get them in and keep them here.